Note to me for tomorrow

A sister site to house those sort of musings

Last musing before bed

Growing up I was taught about Heaven and how I've got a mansion just over the hilltop of silver and gold there, with diamonds and red rubys encrusted in my walls. I remember being in church asking why I would want those things by the time I'm in Heaven, and being looked at funny for it. Then i started to imagine my own heaven, where all of my life's questions would be answered by God, and that everyone I knew could see the entirety of my childhood life, just so some of the things i tend to be and do could make sense for anyone actually wondering, and that i could do the same for them. Then the imagined outcome became just a nod from God that showed me he was there for it all, that he saw me and understood me just by the sight of my life. But then my concept of Heaven changed, and Heaven became my environment in a moment where I can feel how perfectly it has come together, and i can almost feel or predict the next motion in the moment, even sometimes that i am the moment in a way that surpasses my knowing and understanding it.

But the space that old heaven resided in is still there in me. The mansion, the harps, the beautiful hilltop is all gone. The nod from God I felt I had earned as a child is gone. The knowledge bomb is gone, but the blackness around it remains. I can recall the old heavens and get a wisp of what was there, but in that space after that echo I'm met with my closed eyelids, and my eyes are currently open. Its like looking into an empty room, and the light is off, and youre hoping your eyes adjust any moment to please see anything. Perhaps it's something else, but ive noticed since pre-adulthood that it has been hard to visualize much anything at all inside my mind since losing sight of the Heaven I knew, and with each heaven i imagined and let go of my mind seems to have faded more and more, yet I still can visualize inside, albeit with headache or an outside substance entering my body.

Sometimes i wonder if i needed to question heaven at all, but it is what it is, is it not? I'll continue anyways.

Perhaps I'll move Musings and About Me to a sister site. Perhaps im misusing mussings already. Lets keep ActionFrame for art! Sister site coming tomorrow I guess, cool!

Musing before bed

Should i make a turorial on how to make the action frame website lol? i mean, its really gotta be the easiest site to make, this page is 180ish lines long, but so many of those lines are just me musing around and testing. theres barely any html, barely any css, its not as full as a site that could be made with a quick generator but like, its got a beginner friendly set of tools back here in the back end. I think it woudl be easier to parse than the sites generators make, i once got a 1000 line site out of one of those. Yikes! i wasnt gonna read all that to learn these languages! I think making a tutorial on how i've made the site as i make the site would also be a great way to nurture my understanding of these json-y looking languages, too. I would hope that anyone following that tutorial would be able to quickly grow past the state of this site. Maybe a site tutorial page will emerge. Sometimes the best guitar makers kinda stink at playing guitar, yknow?

Centering test

ideally the following text is centered, but this text and the text after should be aligned left.

Something about a quick brown fox and a lazy dog, and the fox he jumped over the dog i think, or maybe it was something else, i dont know, but i know the alphabet is responsible somehow.

and it works!

Well, here's a 'musing' for you.

Im not entirely sure what a "musing" is, but its the only word my mind could drum up that felt appropriate for what this section is.

Its nice to write in the neocites editor honestly. I feel like hackerman writes his journal in an XML format like this. And its code work I can do on the phone which is awesome.

Test

It works!